What language should I learn?

There are many practical obstacles that language learners face on a regular basis. Between figuring out grammatical minutia, finding time to practice, and figuring out how to best retain vocabulary, it’s fair to say that there’s a lot that any aspiring polyglot has to figure out. But there’s one conundrum that can be more conflicting than any other for those who love languages:

Which language(s) should I learn?

This question comes in many forms – “which one should I study first,” “which one should I study next,” and even “which one should I pick back up and practice again” – but every form of the question can drive any language-learner/aspiring polyglot absolutely crazy. And it’s no wonder, because unlike many questions involved in language-learning, there’s no right or wrong answer.

Now, this isn’t an article to push you toward one particular language another, and you might not even get a direct answer, but the intent of this little essay is to help you narrow it down and figure out which language suits you best.

The first thing to figure out is the precise reason why you’re studying a language:
Is it to communicate with someone with whom you want a closer relationship?
Is it to excel in a certain area of business?
Is it to impress people with your mastery of tongues?
Is it to talk to members of your desired sex?
Is it to have a “secret code” with your friends?
Is it to access and understand different works of art: music, poetry, and literature?
Is it purely out of a love of languages?
Is it for some other reason?
This is the question upon which your decision will pivot, so give it some thorough thought, and be honest with yourself. Why exactly do you want to study a foreign language? Not only will knowing this answer help you to pick a language, but it will help to keep you from getting discouraged when you’re a couple months into learning and feel like giving up.

If you’re motivation lies in wanting to communicate with a specific person or group, then that makes things easy: learn the language that they speak. But let’s assume that your motivation lies elsewhere.

If you’re learning languages to excel in a certain area of business, then you should consider three things: 
1. What is are the languages that are most useful for the line of work that I’m in?
2. Which from among those languages will most set me apart? (Because let’s be honest: you don’t just want to be useful – you want to be impressive.)
3. Where do I want this skill to take me in my professional life?
 
So let’s say, for instance, that you’re an American and you work in a field/company that does a lot of trade with the Netherlands, Korea, and Austria (making your potential languages Dutch, Korean, and German). Most Americans aren’t expected to speak Korean, so that will DEFINITELY make you stand out. Dutch isn’t as useful, since so many in the Netherlands have a good command of English, but if you want to set yourself up as a good candidate to go on that business-trip to the Netherlands because you speak the language, that could also work in your favor! Austria has plenty of English-speakers, as well, but perhaps you see more networking opportunity there than in the Netherlands. In that case, pick German! 

So apply the same logic to the useful languages in your field of work/job, and see what you come up with!

If you’re learning to impress people with your mastery of tongues, then you have two basic courses of action:
1. Learn a language that is remarkably difficult (or difficult-sounding) that nobody would expect you to learn.
2. Learn a bunch of really easy languages! 

Which languages fit into these categories will change based on where you live and which language(s) you already speak! But there are a few shortcuts for each that seem to work for most people:
1. If you learn a language with a high level of mutual intelligibility with another language, you can usually get away with saying you speak a bit of the other, closely related languages. For instance, if you study Norwegian, you can normally communicate well enough in Swedish and Danish, as well.
2. Find simple languages that are only spoken in one or a few places in the world. For instance, most westerners can pick up Afrikaans with relative ease (compared to more complicated languages) and people in many countries will be impressed that you speak it because they’re too ignorant to know what Afrikaans is. 

If you’re learning in order to speak with members of your desired sex, then it’s as simple as figuring out what you find attractive, both in individuals and in a culture. If you’re attracted to the South American culture and want to get to know people from there, then learn Spanish or Portuguese. If you’re fascinated by the Eastern ways of life, then consider Korean, Japanese, or Thai. If you like people who like the mountains and a good hike, consider German, Greek, or Turkish! Once you figure out what people you want to be around as a whole, getting to know the right individuals is a breeze.

On a slightly more superficial level, as Barry Farber (American radio host and polyglot) once said, there is such a thing as “blonde languages,” “brunette languages,” and the like. If you’re more attracted to blondes, consider learning Swedish or Icelandic. If you’re more attracted to brunettes, Italian, Spanish, etc. That side is relatively self-explanatory. 

If you’re learning to have a secret code with your friends, that’s when conlangs are your best friend. Conlangs are made-up languages made for a specific purpose rather than developing naturally like most languages. The list includes Elvish from Lord of the Rings (which has two main sub-languages – Sindarin and Quenya), Dothraki and High Valyrian from Game of Thrones, and Klingon from Star Trek. But there are also plenty of other conlangs that have nothing to do with any work of fiction and are actually splendidly effective languages. These languages are great as code-languages between friends because they are simple and relatively easy to learn! Plus, they aren’t specific to a culture or country, so you’re guaranteed a certain amount of privacy. 

Some of the most common conlangs are:
   Esperanto – The father of all modern conlangs, this language was designed to be learned as easily as playing a game and has no grammatical exceptions. Great and easy language to learn, and very versatile. 
   Toki Pona – As basic as conlangs come. Based in minimalism, this conlang has only 120 words and only a handful of grammar rules, so it can be learned in a few hours. The real challenge is learning to be creative in the way you express yourself.  
   Lojban – Comparatively, this conlang is a bit difficult to learn, but it has a very dedicated fan-base that is usually very willing to teach. 

And of course, the great thing about conlangs is that you can also make up your own and make it whatever you want! Then you’d have an absolute guarantee of privacy! 

If you’re learning to access and understand different works of art: music, poetry, and literature, then it all depends on what you want to access. 
   Opera – Russian, Italian, German, French, or Czech.
   Religious texts – Obviously, this varies a lot depending on the religion, but to name a few: Latin, Greek, and Hebrew for Christianity, Arabic for Islam, Hebrew and Aramaic for Judaism, Sanskrit for Hinduism.
   Poetry – this is vast, but German, Japanese, French, Russian are all great for poetry! 
   Philosophy – Greek, Sanskrit, or Arabic.
   Art and Academia – Latin and Greek.
   Literature – depends entirely on what you want to read.

Lastly, if you’re learning just out of a love of languages, then it’s as simple as picking one and running with it. But if you’re having trouble picking, then I would challenge you to do one thing: pick a language that is in a different language family than anything you’ve ever studied, and not at all like your native language! If you truly love languages, then you have the motivation you need to take on a challenge, and the more you challenge yourself, the more you will expand your horizons. 

There are plenty of other great reasons to learn a new language, but connecting with that why will always help you to figure out where you want to go next in your linguistic journey, as well as connect us with our motivation when the going gets tough. 

What is your next language and why are you learning it? What is the best reason you’ve studied any of the languages in your arsenal? What has been your favorite language to study and why?